HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2029
Ozone created by
electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world,
Mexifornia,
formerly known as
California
.
White
minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third
language.
Spotted Owl plague
threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby
conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Couple
petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still
closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before
radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France
pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other
country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Castro
finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President
Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z.
Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal
Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to
Wednesdays only.
85-year
$75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average
weight of Americans drops to 250LBS
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
Japanese
scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can
photograph a woman with her mouth shut..
Abortion
clinics now available in every
high school in United States.
Senate
still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4,532 Pesos per
liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme
Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average
height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal
law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up
newspapers must be registered by January 2030.
IRS sets
lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Floruba
voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Now, send
this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what....NOTHING
will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make
someone smile or very very scared.
I Love This
Country!
It's The
Government That Scares Me!
