DonkeyCentral.com
Donkey Definition by Dictionary.com
1. Since 1874 this animal is a representation/ emblem of the Democratic Party 
2. Its a domestic ASS
3. Its a stupid, silly, or obstinate person.

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   Maxine on Border Control
 
 Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately -- illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida ...   
 
 
 
....... not me -- I concentrate on solutions for the problems -- it's a win-win situation.
 
 * Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
 * Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levees.
 * Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.
 
 Any other problems you would like for me to solve today? Yes!
 
 Think about this:
 1. Cows
 2. The Constitution
 3. The Ten Commandments    
 
 COWS
 Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.    
 
 THE CONSTITUTION
 They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq .... why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.    
 
 THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
 The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this -- you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians ... it creates a hostile work environment.
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Jim died. 

His will provided $40,000 for an elaborate funeral. 

As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Sharon turned to her oldest and dearest friend. 'Well, I'm sure 
Jim would be pleased,' she said. 
'I'm sure you're right,' replied Brenda, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. 

'How much did this really cost?' 

'All of it,' said Sharon . 'Forty thousand.' 

'No!' Brenda exclaimed. 'I mean, it was very nice, but $40,000?' 

Sharon answered, 'The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to church. The whiskey, wine and snacks were another $500. The rest went for the Memorial Stone.'  
  

Brenda computed quickly. '$32,500 for a Memorial Stone? How big is it?'

 

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I bought a bird feeder. I hung
It on my back porch and filled
it with seed. What a beauty of
a bird feeder it is, as I filled it
lovingly with seed. Within a
week we had hundreds of birds
taking advantage of the
continuous flow of free and
easily accessible food.
But then the birds started
building nests in the boards
of the patio, above the table,
and next to the barbecue.

Then came the poop. It was

everywhere: on the patio tile,
the chairs, the table ..
everywhere!

Then some of the birds

turned mean. They would
dive bomb me and try to
peck me even though I had
fed them out of my own
pocket.

And others birds were

boisterous and loud. They
sat on the feeder and
squawked and screamed at
all hours of the day and night
and demanded that I fill it
when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even

sit on my own back porch
anymore. So I took down the
bird feeder and in three days
the birds were gone. I cleaned
up their mess and took down
the many nests they had built
all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like

it used to be.... quiet, serene
and no one demanding their
rights to a free meal.

Now let's see.

Our government gives out
free food, subsidized housing,
free medical care, and free
education and allows anyone
born here to be an automatic
citizen.

Then the illegal came by the

tens of thousands. Suddenly
our taxes went up to pay for
free services; small apartments
are housing 5 families; you
have to wait 6 hours to be seen
by an emergency room doctor;
your child's 2nd grade class is
behind other schools because
over half the class doesn't speak
English.

Corn Flakes now come in a

bilingual box; I have to
'press one' to hear my bank
talk to me in English, and
people waving flags other
than 'Old Glory' are
squawking and screaming
in the streets, demanding
more rights and free liberties.

Just my opinion, but maybe

it's time for the government
to take down the bird
feeder.
If you agree, pass it on; if not,
Continue cleaning up the poop!
 

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